TBear's blog: "About me"

Greetings and Salutations! As Friday approaches (rapidly I might add), I wanted to leave word that I will be going away on vacation for over a week, and will be offline for most of it. A guy's got to unplug sometime! Thursday 8/7 will be my last day until probably the 16th of August. I will be getting s much-needed break and will be driving across the USA like a true road warrior. Well parts of the USA anyway. I have to go take care of some family business in 2 states, and plan to make an extra stop here and there just for spits & giggles. Amongst the serious business I hope to squeeze in just a little fun along the way. So feel free to leave me some love and I will have a nice treasure trove to go through upon my return. WOOHOO! I hope to be all tanned and rested too, and to bring pictures of my exploits as well, that is the plan anyway. Those of you that I speak with regularly, I will still be around for phone, IM, and emails, so just shout out at will. If I am busy I will call you back. I hope everyone has a great week and that I am sorely missed too! Thanks for stopping by! XOXOX T~Bear PS - WINK!!!

I am so tired tonight... I am not made to get up at 3AM anymore I guess. At least not get up so early and work 12 hours. Minus 2 hour at the specialist. Just for whomever read my post from this morning, I guess I owe an update. A big to do about not much. SIGH! The official word is - there is no official word. It was a replay of 1999 without the MRI. I have had some "vascular event" that has diminished my sight in that eye, and it should be "stabilized." In my terms, it is "Gee, sorry! I don't have clue, come back in 6 months..." Oh well. For your info, a vascular event is like a mini-stroke that occurs in the eye itself. The only usual symptoms are diminished vision. I guess I was lucky it wasn't worse. I would rather be lucky than good. Anyone can be good, not everyone is lucky! Mysterious things happen to my body all the time, perhaps I should just accept it and go on. It's just that you would think that it would be more scientific than that. It must be why it is referred to as the "medical arts." I must be a Picasso - open to interpretation. My preferred treatment will be a rabbit's foot or some amulet that brings me luck. Much cheaper than a doctor! Maybe I will sleep better tonight... Thanks for stopping by, don't forget to tip your waitress & bartender.

In the "tweener" times - you know, too early to get up, too late to go back to sleep - submerged in darkness and quiet... I used to dream a lot. Now I awaken with my thoughts, pretending to sleep. Mustn't let the cat know I am awake or he will insist on his morning bowl of goodies. This morning he is out exploring the night, so I turn on the coffee and face the day nearly 3 hours early. Today is a big day, it has been weighing on me. Yeah, I know, it's our United Way week at work, and I have been working on it for nearly 3 months with the organizing committee. That plan is in motion, and everything is set. I am the PR contact, so I have been working on photos, announcements, and video promotional stuff related just to our building. I am also the "hassler" - when something goes awry, I take charge and try to make chicken salad out of other chicken products. That part started last week, and emotions tend to run high. Why do people get so into making a charity event more about them than the cause? Go figure! Back to the big day. I have an appointment to see a Neurology Opthalmologist this morning. It is significant to me because I have some unknown cause for losing the field of vision in my right eye. I developed a "blind spot" a few years ago, bumped into things and had struggles with certain angles at intersections until I adapted. At the time there was no explanation, just assurance that it would stop, Fast forward to a month ago. The vision test and exam were not extraordinary, but I have been banging my right knee against objects in my wheelchair. They did the Vision Field Evaluation two weeks ago, and the blind spot is indeed getting larger. I have had issues with my eyes getting strained trying to compensate for it So today is the first day of the process to investigate. I hate doctors and even more I hate medical centers. I have spent way too much of my life in and around those places. It would be nice if whatever is going on is treatable, and even nicer if it would be reversible. From my own research, not likely. I know they say that God never gives us more than we can handle. It just seems that He thinks I have an unlimited capacity for dealing with adversity. Maybe I do. I have always said I was put together with spare parts & rejects - and it is true - but one of my sources of joy is visual gratification from the world around. I have been a photographer for almost 50 years, and have worked long hours in the darkroom honing my craft. Now I am almost 100% digital. I can't stand up in the darkroom anymore. But to enjoy visual gratification requires sight, and one of my few unaffected senses is slowly fading from me. I am a polio survivor, and now plagued with PPS or Post Polio Syndrome. This is a neurological disorder, and I am sure the eye problem is related to some sort of nerve damage done by this exquisite cohabitant I have. But, as I do, I will proceed to make chicken salad from this plate of chicken product I am currently being served. Sometime's it's not easy being me. Thanks for reading.