Aaarrgghhh! Gotta vent. This blog was originally titled something else but my husband got upset because I told a family member about what I spoke about in this blog previously when according to him: "I specifically asked you not to tell anybody about ....." so I got rid of the posting here.
So now I'm just venting. If for some reason my marriage doesn't last 'till death do us part' I am not doing it again! It is so frustrating. We actually talked earlier today and I thought we made some good progress about my expectations and his. So now that I have done this thing he asked me not to do I just feel like all that progress made has gone to hell in a handbasket!
Mostly, the family member I told this thing to doesn't TALK TO ANYONE ELSE so the 'secret' won't get out to the wrong people. I tried to explain that to him but he just got stuck on the idea that I did this thing he asked me not to do.
I understood, when he asked me to keep quiet about the event, that it was mostly so I wouldn't talk to people here locally about it. I know if I talk to people locally about it it will get to the ears we don't want it to get to. I haven't even told my children about the event for that reason and my daughter is going to be an integral part of the event.
So do you get why I'm frustrated?
I have friends that tell me if my marriage doesn't last 'till death do us part' that there is definitely someone else out there that would be better suited to me and they tell me to not give up on a life partner based on my experience with my current one. But you know what, I don't care IF there is someone else out there better suited to me, I'm not gonna go looking, and I'm not gonna do this relationship thing. I'll be just fine with access to my kids and my pets and my nice big house that I want! I don't need/want any partner in my life!
Okay, I'm done venting. Maybe I am overreacting, maybe there is something hormonal/chemical going on that this has got me so frustrated. It is nice to have this available to me so I can get this s**** out. I do feel better.
Sorry to any of you that may read this and catch the backlash.
Okay a couple of deep breaths and I'm good.
'Night all!
