Ricko's blog: "A good read"

created on 05/01/2012 | http://fubar.com/a-good-read/b347910

posted on 07/21/2012&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;10:07&nbs-07:00;pm

Shampoo
http://fubar.com/shampoo/b347910-1179653

Don't wash your hair in the shower!
It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!

It pertains to the shampoo that runs down your body when you shampoo in the shower.

WARNING TO US ALL!!! Shampoo Warning!

I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,"FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME." No wonder I have been gaining weight!

Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead. Its label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE." Problem solved!

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posted on 07/19/2012&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;05:07&nbs-07:00;pm

Engineers (yes, this is me)
http://fubar.com/engineers-yes-this-is-me/b347910-1179549

After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, the airline these came from is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

1. Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

2. Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

3. Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.

4. Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.

5. Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

6. Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Engineers: Evidence removed.

7. Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Engineers: DME volume set to more believable level.

8. Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Engineers: That's what friction locks are for.

9. Pilot: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
Engineers: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

10. Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.
Engineers: Suspect you're right.

11. Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.
Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

12. Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

13. Pilot: Target radar hums.
Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

14. Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.
Engineers: Cat installed.

15. Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Engineers: Took hammer away from midget

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posted on 07/17/2012&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;07:07&nbs-07:00;pm

Fun stuff
http://fubar.com/fun-stuff/b347910-1179450

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

And God saw it was good.
...
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.

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posted on 05/01/2012&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;03:05&nbs-07:00;pm

NYC Taxi Drivers ...
http://fubar.com/nyc-taxi-drivers/b347910-1175245

This is a long one, but well worth the read.
A NYC Taxi driver wrote:

I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being... dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard
box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'

'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive
through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..

'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice..'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired.Let's go now'.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.

'Nothing,' I said

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.She held onto me tightly.

'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut.It was the sound of the closing of a life..

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk.What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

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Ricko