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Six years ago a friend gave me a wonderfully cute kitten. As I always do, I gave a name that suited the animal, Squeeky. As her little voice was more squeaks than meows. Yes, I know it's spelled wrong. I chose to do it that way intentionally. Little did I know the life journey's she would accompany me through.
Squeeky was not only a pet. She became the best friend I had over the past six years. She travelled across the country with me, by car. In all, racking up more than 6000 miles by my side once we returned to Michigan. I know of no other cats that can claim they've seen the mid and western United States travelling by land.
Squeeky accompanied me not only through travel, but during some of the hardest, and most trying, parts of my life. I won't go into details as to what exactly. Some of you know the struggles that I have dealt with over the past few years. Needless to say, she was by my side every inch of the way.
You see, pets offer a kind of love that people can't offer. Not that people wouldn't if they could, it's just not in our nature. Our pets offer us a kind of unconditional love that we can't get anywhere else. Pets don't judge us, they aren't opinionated and they never question us. They just love us for being the wonderful companions we are to them.
Well, as is life, all good things must come to an end eventually. Squeeky is no exception to this seemingly cruel rule of life. As things came to an end much sooner than they should have. In the last weeks of April, she started to become lethargic. She refused to eat or drink. I would find her laying in front of her water bowl and could tell she was falling asleep in front of it, as her chin and chest were wet. She was also becoming jaundice. A trip to the vet confirmed my fears, her liver seemed to be failing. Despite running every blood test known to cat, the vet couldn't figure out why. For the next two weeks, Squeeky was force fed and watered via syringe every 60 to 90 minutes and was given an IV twice a day for hydration. It broke my heart to have to do these things to her, as I could tell she didn't like any of it. Not only was it unpleasant for her, but for myself as well. I had a difficult time having to do things to my friend that I know she didn't like. What became more frustrating was the fact that she wasn't showing any improvement.
On Wednesday, May 1st, I made a difficult decision that no pet owner ever wants to make. I called the vet and scheduled an appointment for Friday, May 3rd. Thursday night was Squeeky's last IV and on Friday she was only forced food and water once. I couldn't make my friends last day any more miserable for either of us as it was already going to be. At 3pm on Friday I did something I'm normally against. I put a harnes and leash on Squeeky and took her outside, as the weather was beautiful. For about fifteen minutes, Squeeky appeared happy for the first time in three weeks before taking me to the door to come back in the house.
At 3:50, it was time. We made our last car trip to the vet for our 4pm appointment. The vet, whom my family has been going to for more than twenty years, was more than accomodating. the last minutes I spent with my friend was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. But at least we were there for each other through yet another trying time.
I miss my fucking cat! This is so hard for my to type, as tear drops are blurring my vision. I have a wonderful framed picture of her by my bed that I say good night, and good morning, to every day. Nights are hard and I've cried myself to sleep almost every night since that day.
That's all I can type for now. Maybe I'll add more in the near future, maybe I won't. Either way, I've offered a brief glimpse into my psyche that is rarely seen.
Embrace your pets like each day is the last.
~Aaron~
