I want to tell you all how sorry I am for being a bad friend to everyone.
You know how I go on and on and on about being ugly.. the big chested women.. not being good enough.. and so on and so forth?
And how all my friends.. the ones that love me.. tell me i am beautiful. and that i am better than good enough?
A friend used my own words against me Friday.. he kept saying how ugly and scary he is and that no woman would ever give him the time of day and I just had had enough.. and said this...
"WOULD YOU STOP THAT??? Who the hell cares what you are or what you arent... you are YOU.. A really sweet, funny, good looking guy.. that is loyal to his friends and you wont stand by watching your friends be hurt.."
Then he said.. "Read what you just put up there .. and put it towards yourself"
Which i did...
And realized.. I did the same thing to all of you
I was so frustrated when he wouldnt stop putting himself down... over and over again
Then BAM.. hello.. I do it to all of you too. I am making you all frustrated and going out of your heads.. and that isnt a good friend and from now on.. i will BE that friend you all deserve... Now I know what others go through.. its exhausting to listen to someone say bad things about themselves all the time" I felt numb all weekend with these realizations and another friend said to take small steps with my friends now and I will.
Friday night I put as a status here "I just realized that I havent been a good friend to any of you and for that, I am so sorry." after my words were used against me by my friend.. and someone put this on the status and it made me cry because it is true..."You have nothing to apologize for. You don;t really know any of us, so any time that you spend on any of us is more than we had to begin with. And thank you for the little bit of love that you are able to show every day." I am going to get to know you all better..
Again, I am sorry that I havent been a good friend to you all. I will make it better.