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Don't judge me by my constant swearing, judge me by my proper use of you're and your.
Calling people on their bullshit is one of my favourite activities.
Just feed me and play with my hair, we'll get along just fine.
If you (hashtag) #Blessed on any of your social media posts, chances are I don't like you.
I love food more than Kanye West loves Kanye West.
If you like hockey, I like you.
I'm a single mom, and my son is priority #1.
Is it just me, or are sporks pretty frickin cool?
Listen- let's get down to it. IF I wanted to see your dick, I'd ask. That's just how I roll.
Keep your pork sword to yourself. . .I'll go easy on your ego I promise.
Don't be a knucklehead. Be a gentlemen.
My friendship comes in 3 levels:
1) Sarcasm
2) Inappropriate sexual humour
3) Insults/Useless banter
My favourite band is Maroon 5. Love this song:
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